I Read Martha Stewart Magazine (and Other Things Men Aren't Supposed To Do)

I read Martha Stewart Living magazine, and I am a man. If this shocks you, then you are not my reading audience. If it amuses you, you are welcome to stay. 

It's odd that we still think in binary terms regarding sexuality, sex, and gender, and yet here we are. I get that black and white thinking makes many folks comfortable--they know where to "put" things--either in this box or in that box. But life is not that simple, and that is why there are men who read Martha Stewart Living (and other things men aren't supposed to do). 

I thought about this topic the other day after listening to my colleague Claire Bidwell Smith's new podcast, New Day, on Lemonada Media. It is a women's show, as much as Martha's magazine is a women's magazine. Both cater to those who are interested in feelings, and feeling good about themselves. I find it sad that these are considered women's interests, because who among us, male and female, does not have an interest in feelings and feeling good about oneself. 

In my private psychotherapy practice, I work with men who often tell me, "I don't talk about feelings." I tell them, "We don't have to talk about feelings. Just tell me about your day." Before you know it, they are deep into a story about how so-and-so made them angry, and such-and-such got them excited, and after about 15 minutes I turn to them and gently ask, "Do you know you have been talking about feelings for the last 15 minutes?"

Not one of them denies that this is not the case.

***

Claire's podcast is for those who are trying to get through life, and perhaps struggling a bit along the way. It is also for those who are having an easy time getting through life, and perhaps struggling a bit along the way. Though the struggles of both groups are distinct, they are connected by virtue of having fear and sadness as their base; beyond basic needs, the main source of discord in our society is lack of meaning and relationship. COVID has made each of those more difficult to attain and maintain, and women are perhaps just more likely to admit that than men. 

Martha's magazine caters to the same groups, but is less about recognizing and expressing discord, and more about decorating the house and garden regardless of strife. I suspect that her motto is less "Pretend bad things don't happen," and more "Make your home beautiful because bad things happen." Martha has had an easy life, and at times a not-so-easy life, but through it all she still resolves to move tender plants indoors every October 14th.  

Both what Martha and Claire have to offer is for me because I am well aware of what I can and cannot control, and "how we face our struggles" and "how we decorate the house" are both well within my range of control. The rest, not so much. 

This is why I, a man, read Martha Stewart Living magazine and listen to Claire Bidwell Smith's New Day. And that is why perhaps you should too.